


to say i love you

by vmon_89



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Background Relationships, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Snapshots, gotbang, mentioned relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-06 15:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17942249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmon_89/pseuds/vmon_89
Summary: Jaebeom and Yugyeom grew up together. Though they're different in a lot of ways, they've always been important to one another. Take a look at some of the most defining moments in their lives; all the ways they've said they love one another with their actions instead of words.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic is inspired by [this list](http://50-item-writing-prompts.tumblr.com/post/180600714495). Each chapter is going to contain 10 items from the list in order, but obviously the timeline isn't in order. The headings list the item number on the list, how many years/months/etc. away from the date they got together the snippet is, and how old Yugyeom was at the time of that section. Check out the moodboard I made for this [here](https://seoksyubae.tumblr.com/post/183101593524/it-was-supposed-to-be-a-surprise-oh-yeah).

_ one { - 2 years :: nineteen years old } _

 

He was nervous. Yugyeom did not know why he was nervous. It wasn't his first showcase. It wasn't his first time featuring in a showcase either. Still, like every time before, he was nervous. He let out a slow, shaky breath as he waited off stage, nearly about to start pacing but he heard someone clear their throat behind him and Yugyeom turned to see who it was. "Ah, hyung," he greeted, a small smile forming on his face. He had forgotten his hyungs were showing up to this. They tried to come to as many as his dance performances as possible, but sometimes other things got in the way, and that was fine. He understood. They had their own lives. Somehow, it meant more that Jaebeom was the one standing there, looking a little out of place.

 

He had his headphones around his neck and a black hoodie on with black jeans. Of course. He nearly blended in with the walls if it wasn't for his smile. "Nervous?" Jaebeom questioned.

 

"No." Yugyeom scoffed, attempting to sound sure in the statement, but he was sure that Jaebeom heard the way his voice shook a little. Especially if he was to judge by the way that Jaebeom's smile softened.

 

He didn't say anything else, but he walked over to where Yugyeom stood. He wordlessly took Yugyeom's hands in his own. He didn't even realize they'd been shaking until Jaebeom's hands wrapped around them to steadied them. "Oh," he said with a slight little laugh. "Maybe I am a little nervous." Jaebeom squeezed his hands, but didn't really say anything else until the instructor running the showcase went out on stage and started to talk about the performers for the night.

 

"I'll see you afterward." With another reassuring smile and gentle squeeze of his hands, Jaebeom let go, then, and started to make his way toward the seating area. Yugyeom closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this.

  
  


_ two { - 5 years :: sixteen years old } _

 

It was late, probably around two in the morning. Yugyeom was sitting next to his bed resting his back against it while Jaebeom was laying on his bed doing something for his English class. Yugyeom wanted to sleep, but needed to finish his maths homework, though. He was sixteen and already starting to prepare for what came next - university. Most of his friends were in university already. He still had BamBam, and Youngjae. Youngjae was a year older than him and Bam, however, and would be soon leaving the two of them alone. Mark and Jaebeom were both in the music program at the university they shared, also living together in an off campus apartment. Jackson, who was the newest member to their little group, was in a different university with Jinyoung. He was not sure what either one of them were majoring in and he probably saw the two of them less than the others.

 

He missed the days where they all spent their days together, getting into innocent trouble and laughing over nothing because they'd had too much sugar. He still got to hang out with them sometimes, though. Like that particular evening, he'd had Jaebeom over. His mother adored Jaebeom and Yugyeom was not unaware of the fact she'd given him more to eat at dinner than the rest of them. He would hear her complain about Jaebeom being too skinny for weeks afterward, he was sure. "Hyung, I…" Yugyeom broke off when he turned and saw that Jaebeom was asleep in his bed. He still had his glasses on his face and his book was laying haphazardly on the bed next to him. Yugyeom smiled to himself and pushed himself up from the floor after watching Jaebeom toss and turn in the bed a little. Yugyeom grabbed his blanket and pulled it up to Jaebeom's shoulders, wrapping the blanket around him and making Jaebeom still on the bed. "Night, hyung." Yugyeom grabbed one of the extra pillows on the bed and put it down on the floor before laying down as well. He guessed he could finish his maths in the morning.

  
  


_ three { - 3 months :: twenty one years old } _

 

Yugyeom tapped away on his phone as the countryside flew past him outside the window of the train. He couldn't believe he was doing this. It had been an impulse. Jackson was to blame, really. Well, no. Jaebeom was the one to blame. He was the one who took the job across the country from where they'd been. Jaebeom was the one who had left him… No. No, Jaebeom had left them. Okay, so it was a great opportunity, and he was able to do what he loved  _ and _ get paid for it. It was a great opportunity for Jaebeom, and Yugyeom was happy for him. He just hated it at the same time. Yugyeom sighed a little when he finished texting Mark, insisting that he would let him know when he got there safe. He just hoped that he wasn't making a mistake. That was a worry for later, though, Yugyeom decided as he crossed his arms over his chest and eventually dozed off.

 

The muffled sound of an announcement of where he was came over the intercom woke him up from his light sleep and Yugyeom groaned a little as he sat up straight, stretching a bit. The next stop was his. Yugyeom grabbed his bag from the storage compartment as he felt the train starting to slow. He made sure he had his phone and his wallet and waited until the train stopped before he made his way to the nearest exit. Yugyeom wasn't too sure what to do from that point. He hadn't actually thought it out past getting there in the first place. Maybe he should call Jaebeom.

 

With a sigh, he started to walk toward the exit, but along the way he paused. Jaebeom was there, frowning a little as he seemed to be on the lookout for something - or someone. When he spotted Yugyeom, Jaebeom stopped and sighed a little. He looked as though he was about ready to scold him as he started to walk over to where Yugyeom stood. "What are you doing here?" Jaebeom asked. He seemed to be trying to sound upset, but if anything he just sounded incredibly fond.

 

"Surprise?" Yugyeom laughed a little with a smile. "Jackson?"

 

"Jackson." 

 

He should have known Jackson would say something, even if it was on accident. Jackson had a big mouth. Then again, no one in their group seemed to be able to keep a secret. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

 

"Oh, yeah? Where were you going to go once you got here?" Jaebeom looked amused, trying hard not to smile too much though Yugyeom could see the mirth in his eyes.

 

"I hadn't thought that far ahead," Yugyeom explained with a sheepish smile that only made the smile more prominent on Jaebeom's face. "I just… I missed you."

  
  


_ four { + 1 year :: twenty two years old } _

 

He hated his job. He hated it so much. People were awful and rude. They treated him like shit just because he was the server and somehow that made him beneath him. Nevermind that if there weren't people who worked a server's role, everyone would have to do everything themselves. Entitled assholes. His feet hurt and he got a small burn on his arm back in the kitchen. But, he needed a job. He had another job, technically, but being an unpaid dance instructor didn't really help out with food or rent. Bam said he didn't have to worry about it. He had moved to the city not long after Yugyeom officially moved, and they'd been sharing an apartment for about five months at that point. Yugyeom was thankful for BamBam, but he didn't want to take advantage of his friend.

 

Yugyeom sighed as he walked into the apartment, nearly kicking off his shoes while angrily undoing the apron he still had tied around his waist, tossing it onto the couch as he continued to walk to the kitchen. "Hey, Bam, I…" Yugyeom trailed off when he realized the person he'd heard in the kitchen wasn't his roommate. It was his boyfriend. "Jaebeom, what are you…?"

 

"Here, taste this," Jaebeom interrupted, holding up a spoonful of what he was cooking. Yugyeom was a little taken aback by the spoon suddenly in his face, but he laughed a little before trying. "Is it okay?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, it's good. Is this…?" It was his favorite, something he hadn't happened since he moved out from his parents' place. His mother used to make it for him when he had a bad day or was upset about something. The fact that Jaebeom was making it meant that he'd asked Yugyeom's mother. Of course, he knew it could have been an incorrect assumption - but it wasn't a dish he'd ever seen Jaebeom make before. It just… it made his chest feel all tight and like he could fly or something. Yugyeom had called Jaebeom on his break and complained about his day at work. He hadn't really been looking forward to coming home and having to cook. Jaebeom did not offer any further explanation, just stated that it should be finished soon. Yugyeom smiled and moved closer, wrapping his arms around Jaebeom and ducking down enough to rest his chin on Jaebeom's shoulder. "You didn't have to do this, but thank you." He tipped his head down, pressing a kiss to the top of Jaebeom's shoulder, smiling slightly when he felt one of Jaebeom's hands rest on his arm.

  
  


_ five { + 3 years :: twenty four years old } _

 

It was early. Jaebeom did not know exactly how early, just that the sun hadn't actually risen yet. They needed him at the studio, though. There was a deadline and the song wasn't finished yet. Jaebeom didn't want to have to go in. Yugyeom had the day off of work, and they had plans; plans that had been dashed the night before when he'd gotten the call that said he needed to come in. Yugyeom understood, he'd said as much. Still, Jaebeom would rather still be in bed wrapped around his boyfriend than dressed and about ready to go out into the cold. "Do you really have to go?" Jaebeom heard a mumbled question from the mass of blankets on the bed. He looked over and smiled when he saw Yugyeom blinking tiredly at him. His hair was a mess and at some point in the night he'd taken off the t-shirt he'd been wearing. It was probably on the other side of the bed on the floor. 

 

"Sorry, Gyeom," he replied with a slightly saddened smile as he finished tying on his shoes. Once they were tied on, he went over to sit on the bed next to where Yugyeom was laying. He carded his fingers through Yugyeom's hair, smoothing out the sleep-rumpled strands. "Go back to bed. I'll see you tonight." Yugyeom nodded a little, and Jaebeom leaned down in order to kiss him quickly. Yugyeom was already half-asleep again, but he hummed slightly into the kiss. It made Jaebeom smile and lift his head enough to press a kiss to Yugyeom's forehead before he got up from the bed. Jaebeom quietly made his way across the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

  
  


_ six { + 3 months :: twenty one years old } _

 

It was a cold morning. Winter was starting to give way to spring, but it hadn't quite gotten there, yet. "When is the train getting here again?" Jaebeom questioned, rubbing his hands together before lifting them and cupping them in front of his mouth to blow hot air into them. 

 

"Any time, now," answered Yugyeom. He'd been living there, officially, for two months already. Mark was moving out there after he'd been offered a position at the company that Jaebeom worked for. He'd joked that they just needed to get the other guys out there, though it was less of a joke and more something he really believed. BamBam agreed with him, as they'd discussed on their last Skype call. Eventually it would happen, he was sure of it. They would always find their way back to one another.

 

Yugyeom idly bounced on his toes. It was too cold to be standing around outside waiting for the train that was carrying their eldest friend. It was better than trying to explain to Mark where they parked the car. He stumbled slightly when he suddenly found himself being pulled closer to Jaebeom and he felt his boyfriend's arms wrapping around his waist. Yugyeom smiled, wrapping his arms around Jaebeom in turn. Sometimes, he still could not quite believe the two of them were together. It was something thirteen-year-old him had dreamed of without even really understanding what it meant at the time. "It's cold." Jaebeom grumbled as he pressed his face against the side of Yugyeom's neck.

 

He whined and attempted to push Jaebeom away. "Yah! Your nose is cold, Beom." Yugyeom whined some more but he held Jaebeom closer anyway. He could feel Jaebeom smiling against his neck and, well, Yugyeom could not say that he actually minded. Even after Mark showed up and complained about the two of them being ridiculous.

  
  


_ seven { - 3 years :: eighteen years old } _

 

"Hyung, I can't believe you did that!" Yugyeom scolded with a huff of breath as he dug through the cabinets in the bathroom, looking for the first aid kit. Jaebeom didn't say anything, just continued to sit on the edge of the tub seething. His jaw was clenched and he looked as though he was about ready to start swinging punches again. It made Yugyeom sigh a little as he grabbed the kit and turned to look at Jaebeom. "You didn't have to do that." He shook his head a little, moving to kneel on the floor in front of where Jaebeom was so that he could clean up the split to Jaebeom's lip, the cut on his cheek, his knuckles.

 

"I wasn't going to let them keep harassing you, Gyeom-ah. Why didn't you tell us they were giving you trouble?" Jaebeom's voice was shaking and honestly, Yugyeom had never seen what it was that some of the younger students had meant when they said Jaebeom could be scary until that moment. He'd never seen Jaebeom so angry as when he'd shown up to pick Yugyeom up from dance and found a couple of guys harassing him. They had been bullying Yugyeom for a little while, but he had not told anybody.

 

"It was fine. I was dealing with it." Yugyeom mumbled his words, not looking Jaebeom in the face. He was focused on Jaebeom's knuckles where they were scraped and bruising. He only looked up when he felt Jaebeom tilt his head upward so that he couldn't look away. "I…"

 

"This is dealing with it?" Jaebeom asked. He brushed his fingers just underneath the bruise on Yugyeom's cheek. He had other bruises, ones he kept hidden with makeup that he stole from his sister. Yugyeom shifted his eyes away so that he was staring at the wall. "They're not going to hit you again. If they do, you tell me."

 

"Okay, hyung." Yugyeom's voice was small, he wasn't even sure that Jaebeom had actually heard him. Just like he would never be sure he had actually felt Jaebeom brush a barely there kiss to the darkening bruise on his cheek. He had to have imagined that. Right?

  
  


_ eight { - 1 month :: twenty one years old } _

 

It was worth it. The several hour long train ride to go see Jaebeom. He wished that Jaebeom lived closer, but it was what it was. His job was good for him, and he was happy and that was all that really mattered, wasn't it? Yugyeom was looking forward to seeing Jaebeom again, though. He missed him when they were apart. They'd been close friends for so long, it was just strange to not see him every day. Jaebeom had to work, and was unable to pick him up from the train station; but, Yugyeom had been given the code to Jaebeom's apartment so he could come in whenever. He'd been given it the last time he had come to visit. The memory still made Yugyeom smile as he made his way into the building, pulling his phone out to send a text to Youngjae to let him know that he'd made it.

 

The apartment was still and quiet as Yugyeom went inside. Only for a few moments, though, because as Yugyeom dropped his bag on the floor next to the couch, Nora came out of Jaebeom's bedroom, mewling and demanding attention. "Hi, pretty," Yugyeom greeted with a smile as she wove her way around his ankles a few times. When he sat down on the couch, Nora jumped up onto his lap and purred as he pet her. "Just you and me for a bit, Nora." She made a sound that seemed as though she understood him, and it made Yugyeom laugh a little before his attention was caught by something on the table in front of the couch.

 

Yugyeom carefully leaned forward, hugging Nora to his chest with one arm so she wouldn't run off, to grab a note off the table sitting next to a small box that was sitting there and some money. The note stated when Jaebeom should be home, that he should order some pizza, and that he'd thought Yugyeom might like what was in the box. "What's this Miss Nora, do you know?" he asked her and chuckled as she just knocked her head against his chin. "Thank you." He grabbed the box and placed Nora back down on his lap so that he could open it. "Oh." There were some earrings in the box - small and delicate and silver in color. They were mostly dangling earrings, some just little studs with things like stars and moons on the end of the post. Yugyeom laughed a little, thoughtlessly reaching up with one of his hands to mess with one of the earrings he already had in. He then set aside Nora, who let out a sound of complaint, but he ignored it to go to the bathroom so that he could use the mirror to change out the earrings he was wearing for some of the new ones.

 

He smiled, twisting one of the stars around in his upper lobe before pulling out his phone to send out a text to Jaebeom thanking him. The response was almost instantaneous, as if Jaebeom had been waiting for him to message. It was simple and sweet, and Yugyeom could not keep the smile off of his face the rest of the day.

  
  


_ nine { - 4 years :: seventeen years old } _

 

"So, then you just…" Yugyeom explained as he showed the next steps to the choreography routine that he was learning. Jaebeom scowled a little but he mimicked the actions after tugging his ball cap lower on his head. "Yeah, yeah, hyung, but make it a little sharper. Good, hyung." Yugyeom smiled brightly at him through the mirrors that lined the wall, and Jaebeom could not keep the smile off of his face as well. "Thank you for being here, hyung."

 

Jaebeom was not a dance person - he could dance well when he put effort into it, he just didn't care to put effort into it. Music was more of his passion; but, he knew that Yugyeom's passion was right there. Dance was where Yugyeom shone. Jaebeom liked being able to be there for him, to support him. All of their friends tried to go to Yugyeom's dance events, but Jaebeom liked coming to the studio he trained in to train with Yugyeom sometimes. Yugyeom was a good instructor. He would make a good dance teacher someday. If he wanted to, that was. "Yeah, yeah," replied Jaebeom with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Now, show me the next bit again."

 

Yugyeom nodded before he went back into teacher mode and started to show Jaebeom the steps. Yugyeom was too focused to notice the small smile on Jaebeom's face as he watched Yugyeom's demonstration. 

  
  


_ ten { - 5 minutes  :: twenty one years old } _

 

The television was on, but the volume was so low neither one of them could really hear what was being said. Nora was asleep somewhere in the apartment, choosing to be a bit antisocial that day. It may have been because Yugyeom had accidentally stepped on her tail earlier, but he'd apologized. It really had been an accident. Still, she was leaving them alone while Jaebeom and Yugyeom sat on the couch eating dinner. They each had a glass of wine, taking a drink between every few bites. Neither one of them said anything as they sat close, their arms brushing together as they ate. Neither one of them made any effort to fill the silence. They'd already talked about their days. Jaebeom had been at work, and Yugyeom had hung out with one of the friends he'd made in the city during his visits. He'd gotten free takeaway for them to have for dinner.

 

Yugyeom had to admit moments like that one were his favorite part of visiting Jaebeom. It reminded him of being ten years old, and cool, popular Jaebeom was sitting at his family dinner table talking with his mother about the soccer game he'd played. It reminded him of the first time Jaebeom had crashed on the couch on Friday after school when the two of them stayed up too late watching movies. It reminded him of being seventeen and Jaebeom coming to the dance studio to spend time with him. Jaebeom had been such a steady, comforting presence in his life for so long, Yugyeom honestly didn't want to spend any time without Jaebeom in his life. Yugyeom took a sip of his wine, glancing over at Jaebeom, who didn't notice for several seconds. "What?" Jaebeom finally asked, reaching up to wipe at his face with one hand. "Is something on my face?"

 

Yugyeom shook his head a little, smiling as he sat aside his glass of wine. It was white, not his favorite. He preferred reds. But Jaebeom liked white, which was why he'd picked up that particular bottle. Jaebeom failed to mention the bottle of red waiting in the kitchen cabinet for Yugyeom. "Hyung… Jaebeom. I like you," Yugyeom's voice was sure, calm in a way he'd never been when confessing to someone. It was different than any time before, better because the admittance caused a slightly confused but bright smile to form on Jaebeom's face in response.

 

"Why are you saying this?" Yugyeom smiled despite the words. It wasn't a rejection. Jaebeom wasn't turning him away. He knew it. If Jaebeom didn't feel the same way or didn't understand what Yugyeom meant, he would have said so. He was not someone who was known for beating around the bush, after all. He could be almost too blunt sometimes, awkward and unsure with flirting but still incredibly cute. Yugyeom knew. He had witnessed it enough.

 

"One of us needed to. I mean, I sit on a train for hours every few weeks just to see you. You'd think that would be enough." His answer made Jaebeom laugh and Yugyeom smiled. "So. Are you going to kiss me or not?"

 

Jaebeom let out a short, startled laugh but he sat aside his plate anyway. "You're such a shit," he complained, even as he placed a hand on the back of Yugyeom's neck, drawing him in closer to kiss him for the first time. It was a little awkward - the angle, the fact that they'd just been eating, they hadn't really talked about anything yet. It was imperfect, but perfect all the same. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More moments in Yugbum's lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read or reviewed this story so far!!! There's a little bit of GotBang in this chapter - Mark/Taehyung, Jackson/Namjoon, and Jinyoung/Seokjin. Check out the moodboard for this chapter [here](https://seoksyubae.tumblr.com/post/183297738249/hyung-im-tired-yugyeom-whined-as-he-slumped).

_ eleven { - seven years :: fourteen years old } _

 

It was silent in the room. Well, almost silent. There was a hum of the air conditioning, and the fan in the corner that would blow things around as it oscillated the room. Every so often there was a laugh from downstairs - Jaebeom's grandparents watching something on the television downstairs in the living room. Yugyeom wrung his hands on his lap as he looked to the letter sitting open on the desk, then he looked over to where Jaebeom was sitting next to him. Jaebeom just stared at the wall in front of the both of them, not saying anything. Yugyeom had to look very carefully to make sure that his friend was even breathing. 

 

There were so many things that Yugyeom could say to try to make things better, but none of them felt good enough. "I'm sorry" was so generic and bland, the thing that everyone said when they didn't know what else to say. He could tell Jaebeom that it was their loss, that the program was obviously full of idiots for not choosing him in their summer internship. He could tell him that there was always the next one, that someone was going to see his talent soon. He could tell Jaebeom that he didn't need the program, anyway; he was good enough to make it on his own. Instead of any of that, Yugyeom found himself taking a hold of Jaebeom's hand closest to him and leaning against him softly as he said, "What did one plate whisper to the other plate?" The look Jaebeom have him was incredulous, as if he couldn't believe Yugyeom had just said what he thought he had. "Dinner is on me."

 

It took several seconds of Jaebeom just staring at Yugyeom, making him wonder if he had made a mistake in telling a joke to try to lighten the mood, but a slow smile made its way across Jaebeom's features. It was the kind of smile that made Jaebeom's eyes crinkle in the corners and had been the reason that Yugyeom, at four years old, had decided that Jaebeom was going to be his very best friend. "You're ridiculous, Yugyeom-ah," Jaebeom told him, but he was smiling and he gently squeezed Yugyeom's hand. Yugyeom would count that as a win.

  
  


_ twelve { + one year :: twenty two } _

 

Yugyeom was tired and he couldn't stop yawning as he finished washing his face in the bathroom sink. It was much, much too early to be awake - especially on Christmas. But, he could hear the obvious sounds downstairs of everyone else already being up and awake. So, Yugyeom brushed his teeth before going back to Jaebeom's bedroom, which seemed much smaller than it had when he'd been sixteen and sprawled out on Jaebeom's bed while whining about it being too hot. Yugyeom grabbed a sweater out of the suitcase in the floor and tugged it on over his tank top before shuffling his way downstairs. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and there was a part of Yugyeom that wanted to either whine about that or just go crawl back under the covers. However, the smile on Jaebeom's face when he noticed Yugyeom coming into the kitchen made it worth it. "Ah! You have come to join us!" Grandma Mae exclaimed when she saw him as well. She came over and reached up to pat Yugyeom's cheek. "Watch the eggs, would you please?"

 

"Of course," Yugyeom agreed before going over to the stove, where Jaebeom handed him a cup of coffee. "Thank you." Yugyeom pressed a quick kiss to Jaebeom's cheek before he took a sip of the coffee. Then he set the mug aside to stir the eggs so that they didn't burn.

 

"You didn't have to get up," Jaebeom told him. It was a long standing tradition for Jaebeom and his grandparents to get up early, make breakfast together, and eat together in the family room while watching the sun rise over the back yard. It had been a tradition for as long as Yugyeom had known them, but he had never joined them before. Jaebeom had not expected him to that year, either.

 

"I know," Yugyeom agreed. "I wanted to."

  
  


_ thirteen { - two years :: nineteen } _

 

"Hyung, I'm tired," Yugyeom whined as he slumped down onto the couch, resting his head on Jaebeom's shoulder. He had been in dance classes all day, and he was sore in places he didn't realize that he had. Jaebeom sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose so they set in place while placing his bookmark into his book. Yugyeom smiled softly as he shifted a little closer to Jaebeom. "Read to me."

 

"Yah, don't be demanding," replied Jaebeom, rolling his eyes a little only to sigh heavily when Yugyeom whined softly again. He didn't fight it, however, as Yugyeom wrapped both arms around Jaebeom's arm closest to him, hugging his arm tightly. Jaebeom then opened his book again, clearing his throat before he started to read the words. Yugyeom smiled and closed his eyes as he listened to Jaebeom reading. He had no idea what the story was, but he just found the sound of Jaebeom's voice soothing.

 

As they sat there, Yugyeom eventually let go of Jaebeom's arms, whining faintly yet again as he felt Jaebeom move away, but then Jaebeom's arm was around his shoulders hugging him close, and Yugyeom no longer had any complaints. He sighed in contentment, keeping his head stubbornly in place on Jaebeom's shoulder. He was not sure how long he had sat there before he felt Jaebeom's fingers starting to shift through his hair repeatedly. It made Yugyeom smile to himself. Slowly, Yuygeom started to drift off to sleep as Jaebeom played with his hair and read to him. 

  
  


_ fourteen { + one month :: twenty one years old } _

 

Yugyeom was tired - the elevator in the building was broken and it was a lot of work lugging his boxes up the stairs to his new apartment. He didn't even have a lot of stuff, but still.  It took longer than anticipated just because of having to navigate the stairs. It made both Yugyeom and Jaebeom glad that Yugyeom did not have a lot of furniture. "Are we done yet?" Jaebeom groaned after placing another box on the counter in the kitchen. It wasn't a big apartment. Two bedrooms - the plan was that once BamBam finished out his project at work, he would move out there and was already helping with rent - one bathroom, a kitchen. The building had washers and dryers in the basement for the tenants to use. It wasn't too far from where Yugyeom had gotten a job as a server that he would be starting come Monday. 

 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes but waved his hands a little. "Go sit," he insisted. "I'll get the last box by myself."

 

"No, I ca--"

 

"Jaebeom, sit." Jaebeom's expression was almost comical, but Yugyeom just smiled at him. They had moved a lot that day, and it wasn't going to kill him to get the last box by himself. Jaebeom had done enough. He had taken the day off to help Yugyeom move in the first place. Well, technically three days. He had taken a train and stayed overnight, spent the next day packing everything up, and then they'd rented a truck. They had left the second day, stopping at a hotel along the way, and got to the apartment in the early afternoon. It had been a long few days, and Yugyeom was just really tired.

 

He contemplated taking a nap in the truck, but he grabbed the last box from it, locking it up afterward. They would turn in the rental the next day. Yugyeom then made the walk from the parking garage to the building and up the stairs. There were four flights of stairs to go up; it could have been worse, he could have lived on the twelfth floor. Still, he was a little out of breath by the time he made it to his floor - navigating the stairs, struggling with doors, and not dropping the box was more of a chore than he had thought it would be. Yugyeom lifted up his leg to stand on one foot while holding up the box and using one hand to punch in the code to the door. Once he had it open, Yugyeom dropped his foot and held his box with both hands again while pushing his way into the apartment. "Alright, last box," he said as he walked further into the room. He dropped the box on the chair in the living room area and looked around with a slightly furrowed brow. "Jaebeom?"

 

"Here," replied Jaebeom as he came out from the bedroom area, hanging up his phone and putting it into his back pocket. "Just ordered us some dinner."

 

"You're the best." Yugyeom groaned in appreciation before holding his arms out toward Jaebeom who simply raised his brows in response. "Come on. Hug me!"

 

"Someone's bossy today," Jaebeom replied, even as he walked over to where Yugyeom was. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom's middle, hugging him close almost immediately. Yugyeom smiled and wrapped his arms around Jaebeom's shoulders, ducking his head to press his face against the side of his neck. Jaebeom tightened his hold enough to lift Yugyeom off the floor slightly, making him giggle against Jaebeom's neck. Jaebeom spun them around a few times as Yugyeom lifted his head to smile at him before he was placed back down on the floor. "I'm glad you're here, Gyeom-ah."

 

"Me, too." Yugyeom nodded his head a little, lifting one of his hands to play with Jaebeom's hair at the nape of his neck. "Dance with me." Jaebeom grumbled a little and Yugyeom pouted until he felt Jaebeom let go of his waist with one arm in order to unwrap Yugyeom's arm from his shoulders so that they could hold hands. Jaebeom then started to lead them in a slow dance around the quiet living room. Yugyeom smiled as he heard Jaebeom humming a familiar tune, joining in after several seconds. Then, Yugyeom started to sing softly, under his breath to the point that Jaebeom almost didn't hear him.

 

"Louder. I want to hear you." Jaebeom gently squeezed Yugyeom's hand, smiling to himself as he heard Yugyeom's surprisingly gentle sounding singing voice raised in volume just a little. 

  
  


_ fifteen { + one year, four months :: twenty two } _

 

Something woke him up. Yugyeom didn't know what it was at first. He lay in the bed, blinking up at the ceiling as he tried to figure out what was wrong. Slowly, he realized that Jaebeom was no longer wrapped around him - explaining why he was almost cold even though the blanket was still draped over him. It made Yugyeom turn to look at the other side of the bed where Jaebeom was sleeping. He was laying on his other side, facing away from Yugyeom but he seemed tense. Yugyeom turned over to face Jaebeom, saying his name softly. Jaebeom didn't react, leading Yugyeom to realize that he was sleeping. He seemed to be having a bad dream, and Yugyeom wrapped his arms around Jaebeom's waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of Jaebeom's bare shoulder, hugging him a little tighter. 

 

Jaebeom stayed asleep for several moments afterward, not reacting to the way that Yugyeom pressed his face against the back of Jaebeom's shoulder, hugging him close. When he did wake up, it was with a sharp inhale and a slight jump; Yugyeom just held him a little tighter. "What are you doing?" Jaebeom questioned, his voice thick with sleep, still, and a little unsteady.

 

"You were having a bad dream," said Yugyeom, placing his hand on top of Jaebeom's in order to lace his fingers together with his boyfriend's. "Your hand is still shaking."

 

"Oh." Jaebeom nodded, idly wetting his lips while gently squeezing Yugyeom's fingers with his own. "I don't remember."

 

"It's ok." Yugyeom leaned forward enough to press a kiss to Jaebeom's cheek. "Try to go back to sleep." Jaebeom nodded, saying something that Yugyeom couldn't quite make out due to the fact that he was mumbling. "Hush, just sleep. Think about good things. Like making me breakfast in the morning." Yugyeom smiled after hearing the slightly startled laugh that Jaebeom made in response, and he pressed a kiss to the back of Jaebeom's shoulder again. "Or I guess I could make you breakfast this once."

 

Jaebeom chuckled a little, shifting in place in an attempt to get comfortable again before he eventually started to fall back asleep with Yugyeom's arms firmly around him, holding him close and keeping him focused on him instead of whatever the bad dream had been about in the first place.

  
  


_ sixteen { - one year :: twenty years old } _

 

"So how did the interview go?" Yugyeom asked as he sat down on the couch in Jaebeom's apartment, turning off the screen to his phone. He then set it aside as he looked over at Jaebeom. "Do you think you got the job?"

 

"I don't know," said Jaebeom with a shrug of his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his hair while glancing over to where Yugyeom was sitting. "It didn't go horribly, but I couldn't really get a read on their thoughts. This is why I hate video interviews."

 

Yugyeom nodded a little. He wanted to say something supportive - like that he knew that Jaebeom would get the job. However, the job also meant that Jaebeom would be moving across the country and that… Well, Yugyeom was not too thrilled about that idea. He knew that was selfish, but it was what it was. Jaebeom had always been there, always been someone that he could lean on and, well, maybe he kind of lo-- "I'm sure you'll get the job, hyung," Yugyeom stated, cutting off his own train of thought before he went too far. 

 

"Don't sound too excited there, Gyeom-ah." Jaebeom laughed and shook his head, reaching over to poke Yugyeom's side, making him flinch with a slight giggle. 

 

"Sorry, hyung." Yugyeom smiled sheepishly over at him. "I just… It's really far. You've never been that far from home before."

 

"Yeah, I know. It'll be… different. But, I really, really want this job."

 

Yugyeom sighed a little. "I know. I know that. I'm just… It'll be good. I'll just have to get used to not seeing your face all the time." Yugyeom nudged Jaebeom with his shoulder lightly, managing a weak smile. He really did want Jaebeom to get the job he wanted; he just wished it was closer.

 

"Smile, Gyeom-ah. I promise it'll be ok. You won't be rid of me that easily. I'll always be your best friend."

 

"Yeah, I guess. I--" Yugyeom broke off with a squeak when Jaebeom suddenly grabbed his side, purposely squeezing where he knew that Yugyeom was ticklish. "Hyung, no!" Yugyeom whined through his giggles as Jaebeom continued to tickle him, not letting Yugyeom squirm away or push him away until Yugyeom was smiling and there were tears in his eyes. "Okay, okay! Stop, please." He was slightly breathless from laughing so hard and somehow he ended up laying down on the couch with Jaebeom hovering over him. "H-"

 

"Got you to smile again," Jaebeom interrupted, wiping at a stray tear that had escaped Yugyeom's eyes before sitting up again.

 

Yugyeom laughed slightly and nodded as he sat up as well, wiping at his face. "Yeah, yeah you did."

  
  


_ seventeen { - ten months :: twenty } _

 

Jaebeom's apartment was nearly packed up. It was still and quiet as Yugyeom looked around it with a slight frown. Jaebeom was out with Jackson and Jinyoung, picking up a few last minute things he was going to need for the move, leaving Yugyeom in the apartment because he'd complained about being too tired to go. Really, he just wanted to avoid Jinyoung and his knowing, accusing gaze. Yugyeom could not handle that right then. He just wanted the whole thing to be over. He hated that Jaebeom was leaving; but, he'd gotten his dream job and Yugyeom needed to accept that.

 

With a sigh, Yugyeom made his way into Jaebeom's bedroom. It was the room that had the least amount of stuff packed already. He idly toyed with some of Jaebeom's books as he moved past the desk. It really sucked that Jaebeom was going to be leaving hi-- the city. Yugyeom reached up with one hand and ran his fingers through his hair a few times, eying the basket of clean clothes on the floor next to the bed. With a slightly heavy breath, Yugyeom walked over to it and pulled out the t-shirt on the top of the basket, carefully folding it before placing it on the bed. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He hated folding even his own clothes. It was something to keep him busy, though.

 

Yugyeom folded all the clothes in the basket, making a pile of t-shirts and another pile of jeans. The other guys weren't back yet, so Yugyeom grabbed a couple of empty boxes, carefully putting the clothes into them and labeling the boxes before setting them aside so that Jaebeom could add more clothes to them as he finished packing. "Gyeom-ah, are you in here?" Jaebeom asked as he came in the bedroom. "What are you…?" Jaebeom trailed off and smiled when he saw the boxes. He knew that Yugyeom was hesitant about him moving but seeing that Yugyeom had done that without being asked was just… it was nice. Jaebeom crossed the room in order to pull Yugyeom into a tight hug, smiling as Yugyeom laughed and asked what was wrong with him. "Nothing. Just… Come on. We brought dinner." Jaebeom took a hold of Yugyeom's hand then and led him back out to the main room where the other guys were; and, if Jinyoung gave him that knowing look he wanted to avoid, Yugyeom did not notice.

  
  


_ eighteen { + four years :: twenty five years old } _

 

It was loud and busy, but that was to be expected. Honestly, Yugyeom would have been surprised if the room was any less crowded. "I can't believe Mark was the first one of us to get married," BamBam said before taking a drink of his wine, making Yugyeom look to him instead of where Mark and Taehyung were walking around talking to everyone, thanking them for being there. The comment made Yugyeom chuckle but agree. Out of all of them, he figured Jinyoung would be the first one to settle down; but, Jinyoung was still figuring things out with his boyfriend, Seokjin - who happened to be one of Taehyung's friend's. It was a relationship that none of them had expected, but Seokjin pulled Jinyoung out of his shell and Jinyoung got Seokjin to calm down some. They were cute together. Of course, Yugyeom thought that Mark and Taehyung were cuter, especially watching the way that they were clinging to one another, pausing in their rounds of the room to talk to one another and giggle about something or steal a kiss. Yugyeom still didn't know how they found one another, but he was glad that they did.

 

"I really thought it would be Jinyoung when we were younger - or you, with Lisa," Yugyeom replied, smirking as a pretty blush found its way to BamBam's face. "You should just ask her already."

 

"Yah. Stop that. I'm not.. I mean… shut up." BamBam took another drink of his wine, all but glaring at Yugyeom, who simply giggled a little as he took a drink out of his own glass.

 

As he took a drink, Yugyeom glanced around the room, and he lowered his glass with a soft smile on his face when his gaze crossed with Jaebeom's. Jaebeom was across the room, talking with Jackson and Namjoon who were practically attached at the hip - Yugyeom was pretty sure that Namjoon was a little drunk with how giggly and pink in the face he was. Jaebeom smiled at him, but there was something so incredibly intimate and fond about the look on his face that Yugyeom had to look away, feeling his own face flushing. He busied himself with drinking some more wine and nudging BamBam while telling him to shut up since BamBam took to teasing him. "Maybe you'll be the next one to get married," he said, and Yugyeom just smiled softly, looking over at Jaebeom, who was distracted by talking with Mark and Taehyung along with Jackson and Namjoon.

 

"Yeah. Maybe I will."

  
  


_ nineteen { + two years :: twenty three years old } _

 

"It's so hot," Yugyeom complained. He had his phone on speaker laying a few inches away from his head as he lay sprawled out on the ground. He was wearing a pair of boxers and a tank top, the shirt riding half way up his torso so the small of his back was on the tile floor. It was the coolest spot in the apartment, even though it wasn't that cool. He kept opening the refrigerator every few minutes to let out some of the cool air. The ceiling fans were on in the apartment, and there was an oscillating one going in the living room. The air conditioning unit seemed to be broken, however, and was not cooling the apartment like it should have been. They had a work order in, but so did dozens of other people.

 

"Stop whining, baby," replied Jaebeom from his end of the phone call, making Yugyeom huff a little.

 

"You say that and yet you're the one hanging out in a fully air conditioned building. Bring some ice when you come home?" Yugyeom groaned as he turned over to lay on his stomach, crossing his arms underneath his head to use them as a pillow. "And cold soup. And-"

 

"I'll bring some stuff to help, okay? Just… I don't know, take a cold shower or something."

 

Yuygeom huffed and hid his face, not that Jaebeom would know the difference except that it muffled his voice as he spoke. "That will make it worse afterward."

 

"Then draw a cold bath and just lay in it. I don't know what else to tell you."

 

"Yeah, yeah." Yugyeom grumbled and turned his head again, resting his cheek on his arms.

 

"Look, I've got to go, but I'll see you later."

 

Yugyeom said goodbye before he hung up the phone. He re-crossed his arms under his head there and he sighed as he closed his eyes. He didn't intend to fall asleep there, but he woke up again when he felt a sudden burst of cold air from above him. "Huh?" he said as he looked up to see Jaebeom putting something into the freezer. "Oh, you're home."

 

"And you're sleeping on the kitchen floor," replied Jaebeom, obvious amusement in his tone that turned into a laugh when Yugyeom reached out to gently hit the side of Jaebeom's leg. "What are you hitting me for?"

 

"Just because. You're making fun of me."

 

Jaebeom rolled his eyes but the shut the door to the fridge. Then he grabbed something off the counter in order to sit down next to Yugyeom. He placed the plastic sack he'd grabbed onto the floor next to him and gestured for Yugyeom to come sit next to him. Yugyeom complained, but he pushed himself up to sit, scooting over to sit next to Jaebeom so they were both leaning against the cabinets. "What's this?" Yugyeom asked as Jaebeom opened the plastic box in the bag. He smiled as he watched Jaebeom pick up a piece of sliced fruit that Yugyeom hadn't been able to have since the summer previous. It was his favorite - he'd never said as much, but it was always his first choice. "Jae-"

 

"Just shut up and eat the fruit," Jaebeom insisted as he held the piece up to Yugyeom.

 

Yugyeom laughed softly and ate the piece of fruit he was offered before leaning up to kiss Jaebeom. "Thank you." It was still hot and miserable in the apartment, but having Jaebeom there made it that much more bearable. 

  
  


_ twenty { + four years :: twenty five years old } _

 

Yugyeom was tired and sore. He'd been at the dance studio all day, helping a few of the students with routines for auditions to different schools or entertainment companies. It was late by the time he made his way into the apartment that he shared with Jaebeom, and from the sounds of it, Jaebeom was already home. "Hey," he greeted tiredly after stepping out of his shoes and making his way farther into the apartment to see Jaebeom on the couch with his laptop on his lap and his glasses on. "Bringing your work home again?"

 

"Yes, well, I got home and you weren't here, so…" Jaebeom spoke without looking up from his computer. 

 

"Sorry. They needed my help."

 

"I know. You told me." Jaebeom watched Yugyeom over the top of his glasses as Yugyeom carefully walked toward the kitchen to get himself some water. Jaebeom sat aside his computer, placing his glasses on top of the keyboard, before making his way into the kitchen after Yugyeom. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom's waist, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck before resting his chin on his shoulder. "Finish your water, then go get into the shower. I'll join you."

 

"Mmhmm. Is that for my benefit or yours?" Yugyeom teased, though he leaned back into Jaebeom's hold a little more. Jaebeom chuckled and squeezed Yugyeom gently before letting go and pushing him toward the bathroom. "Alright, alright, I'm going." Yugyeom then made his way toward the bathroom, pausing at the doorway to smile back at Jaebeom. "I thought you were coming."

 

Jaebeom followed Yugyeom, then, rolling his eyes at the teasing comment and again at the way that Yugyeom teasingly started to strip out of his clothes once they were in the bathroom. "You're ridiculous," he said, to which Yugyeom only smiled and kissed him.

 

"You love me anyway."

 

Jaebeom hummed a little but didn't reply, neither one of them saying anything else as they started to get undressed and Jaebeom started the shower. "Get in. You stink."

 

"Yah!"

 

Yugyeom was laughing despite the comment and he got into the shower as Jaebeom grabbed a couple of towels to set aside for them. Yugyeom groaned in contentment as the way the warm water felt on his aching muscles. He didn't realize just how sore he was until after he was under the warm water. Well, no, he had realized but it seemed that much more right then. Yugyeom closed his eyes and tilted his face up to the spray of the water just before he felt Jaebeom's hand on his back. "Hand me your body wash, Gyeom-ah," Jaebeom instructed softly. Yugyeom smiled to himself but did as requested after moving so that his head wasn't under the stream of the water, anymore.

 

"You know you don't-"

 

"I didn't do this for you to tell me I didn't have to." Yugyeom chuckled despite being interrupted and he just hummed as Jaebeom washed his back with the fruity scented body wash that he favored.

 

"I hope you know this means I get to do you next time."

 

Jaebeom didn't answer right away, focused more on turning Yugyeom to rinse the body wash off his back and grabbing the shampoo. "I think I can handle that," Jaebeom finally commented after he'd started working the shampoo into Yugyeom's hair while Yugyeom tilted his head back in order to make it a little easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another ten done!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Come [talk to me on tumblr](https://shineeali.tumblr.com/) or on my [writing blog](https://seoksyubae.tumblr.com).


End file.
